The Slimming Battle

Food might not be the reason you are not at your ideal weight. If you don’t believe me contact me or read on to find out why.

The slimming battle is one that many people fight on a daily basis. You come to a point when you just feel unattractive, unhealthy and no longer want to go out to socialize because you are too conscious about the way you look and too afraid of judgment. I’ve been there myself. There were times in my life when I saw someone on the street I knew, but avoided meeting them because I felt that I was not slim enough for them to see me. Isn’t that a crazy thought??? I know it is insane now but at the time, it seemed a completely rational thought to have. I passed on many social engagements at that time of my life because I felt embarrassed about the way I looked. Of course, looking back on it now does not make sense but when you are in that frame of mind, it does. I turned my life around, or shall I say my body image around, by changing my attitude toward ‘dieting’. In fact, I banished the word dieting from my vocabulary and replaced it with HEALTHY EATING PLAN. I also stopped referring to shedding pounds as weight loss and started to use the phrase SLIMMING DOWN. If you declare that something is getting lost your mind thinks that you need to find it and you need to get it back. Loss most of the time refers to a negative event when something or somebody we held dear to us seize to be there, therefore the word loss inadvertently starts a bereavement process in our minds, even if it refers to weight. Trust me how you talk to yourself about the issue of becoming slimmer is crucial. I encourage you to always and I say it again, ALWAYS use positive language. The words deprivation, hunger, misery must be wiped from your mental dictionary and replaced with health, fitness, love and respect for myself, satisfaction, energy, a slimmer and more attractive body. In other words, you must without delay start focusing on the positive aspects of dietary change. It is best to choose an eating plan that suits you and one that is sustainable on the long run and stick with it. I find that sticking to the 80/20 rule helps me, which means I eat healthily and exercise 80% of the time and allow some grease, sugar and laziness 20% of the time. It works well and I feel so much better about my body. No more insane thoughts just happy and healthy ones.

 

The language of love

Are you and your partner speaking the same language of love? Would you like to do so? Contact me or read on.

 

Do you speak the same language of love as your partner? You might show your love toward your partner by doing things for them and by creating a warm and happy home but get disappointed when your partner does not notice or appreciate it. On the other hand, you might show your love toward your partner by spending time with them and giving them attention but all they want from you is to do more around the house. Love gets lost in translation. The only way to speak the same language of love is to share with your partner what your love language is. You could tell your partner: I feel loved when you ….

Honest, heartfelt, open communication is essential to a good couple relationship, so go ahead, tell your love language to your partner today and find out what theirs is. Love needs constant dedication and it need to be nurtured. Where there is trust, attention, patience and understanding, there is a good loving relationship. I believe that relationships are full of compromises but if you love and care for your partner deeply you will be willing to make them. Get on the same page!

 

 

Relationship contradictions

‘I love and hate my partner at the same time.’ If that is you Contact me or read on.

 

I hear clients tell me at times that they are unsure why they have married the person they have married and feel they have no longer anything in common with them, however for the sake of their children and to avoid feeling that their marriage is a failure they stay with their partners. Most of the time however, it only brings tears and emotional turmoil. One of my clients recently described her relationship as suffocating but at the same time declared her love for her partner. Another client of mine had told me how lucky he was to be with his lovely wife but complained about feeling lonely in the relationship. Their thoughts and feelings seem to have contradicted each other. You may think one thing but at the same time feel something different. What do you think, which is the better indicator of the ‘truth’, thoughts or emotions? I believe both are equally telling, with the difference that we have the power to change our thoughts but might have a bit more difficulty with changing our emotions. Of course, once you managed to shift your thoughts to more empowering ones, your emotions will begin to reflect those thoughts. In other words, if you are having trouble in your long term relationship and have conflicting thoughts and feelings , I believe the best course of action to be examining your thoughts and believes and the reasons for having them. Then decide to alter them in order to feel differently about the situation. Lets’ take the case of my client who thought that she was suffocated by her relationship but at the same time felt love toward her partner as an example. She would need to examine the reasons for her feeling suffocated in the relationship and in order to do that she could ask herself the following: What would need to happen for me not to feel this way? How could I think about this situation differently? What is my partner trying to show me by wishing to spend time with me? What could I do to feel freer within the relationship? How could I communicate my needs to my partner? Once those questions are answered and your wants and needs are established then a door can open to healing those unpleasant feelings of discomfort within the relationship.

 

 

Kick the habit of disempowerment

There are people who are more comfortable being disempowered. Would you like to know how to ignite the flame of empowerment? Contact me or read on.

 

If you ask anyone whether they would like to be empowered and have a happier, healthier and more successful life the answer would be ‘yes’, every time. It would be logical to think that all of the people who said yes to empowerment would be willing to do their best when given the tools, techniques, wisdom and the knowledge to go ahead and free themselves from their mental, emotional and physical restraints. You might be surprised to learn that this is not the case. I have come across people both in my professional and private life who are just seem to be addicted to mental pain and suffering and even after knowing the secret of empowerment chose to stay disempowered. ‘ I want to use all those techniques’ and’ I want to change the way I think’ they say but it just remains at that stage of wanting never really truly trying or more to the point never truly having the intention to do so. They seem to have identified with the role of the victim so deeply that it became inconceivable to become anything or anybody else but. They got so used to living a dissatisfying life that to them it does not even seem plausible that they can lead a better one. An example of this is one of my workshop participants. She was not even able to visualize herself happy and content, not because she was not good at visualizing as by her own admission she is doing it perfectly with negative images but because being happy was a picture just as unbelievable to her as for her to land on Mars. If you are one of these people then please do not despair you will get there, you will be able to see positive images and think more empowering thoughts about yourself and your life. You need to do one thing only and that is to intend it to happen. It is important that you do not just say to yourself ‘I will try’ as trying on this occasion will not be good enough but to set a solid intention to do it. Start with simple pictures in your mind, such as seeing yourself smiling and with one empowering thought a day, which could be ‘I can do this’ or ‘Let’s find a solution’ and build it from there. Day by day, picture by picture, thought by thought.

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