Staying in an unhappy relationship

Fear, lack of self-esteem and feeling that you have failed can be reasons to staying in a relationship that passed its expiry date. What could be a solution? Contact me or read on.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
- F. Nietzsche


People often stay in unhappy relationships out of fear. They are afraid that if they leave they will be alone and there will be no-one to love them. They might be afraid to leave the relationship if their partner is physically or psychologically abusive. Fear of the unknown the uncertainty of the future without a partner scares many people. I guess they figure, it is better to be in a bad relationship than not being in one at all. I feel that this leads to a false sense of security.

I believe that you will find your inner strength when you decide to face the challenge head on despite your fears. Facing the challenge could be that you ask for support from friends, family, a therapist or a relevant organisation or it could be that you chose to learn some new skills or embark on a new journey. The possibilities are endless, therefore the best course of action is to decide what or who it is that could help you face your fears and take action.


The second reason for staying in an unhappy relationship is that people have the need to know that they are needed and that they are lovable. Being in a relationship seems to take on the meaning of being lovable and wanted. What it comes down to is not knowing and appreciating one’s inner strength and self- worth and needing validation from outside sources, such as a relationship. When you find your inner strength and start to recognise your own self-worth, you begin to like and dare I say, love who you are, that is when the curse of the bad relationship gets broken and you become clear on what your next move should and could be.


Another reason why people might stay in an unhappy relationship is the feeling that they have failed. They feel that it is their job to hold the relationship together and to keep it going no matter what. It has to be accepted that some relationships have an expiry date attached to them and they need to be let go of in order for both parties to have a chance to have a happier life and a better relationship.